40 Days of Prayer and Fasting - Day 5

If you have been following the prayer calendar and praying and fasting faithfully the last few days, I suspect some of the following is happening already:

• You have perhaps begun to realize how little you prayed before and what a great reminder to pray simple fasts are.
• You have begun to sense God working keenly on certain areas of your life that he has long desired to work in.
• You are beginning to grow a greater affection for your church and its members.
• You are being challenged/opposed spiritually in ways you have not been in a long time (or maybe ever).

The reason for that last effect is that our spiritual enemies don't want us to pray.  The armies of the enemy stand unafraid of our planning, our strategizing, and our many programs and meetings.  What they do fear is God's people on their knees seeking God. 

Satan's strategy against us also includes the temeptation of idols - something/anything standing in place of the real and the true.  If he can cause us to give our time and treasure to that which has no value or worse - to that which destroys us - then he has cause to celebrate the failures of another Christ-follower.  As you read Ezekiel 14:1-8 today (and fast from desserts and sweets), ask God to reveal to you anything in your life that has become an "idol" to you.  In Ezekiel's day, the elders of the congreagtion had an air of piety about them externally, but internally their affection was for their idols.  Today,  you and I are not tempted to worship an idol carved from wood or hewn from stone, but we are tempted to treasure and cherish things above God, His Word, and His will.  Anything that replaces God in our affections and obedience rightly bears the tag of "idol".  Ask God to search your heart today and reveal anything that takes preeminence over Him.

 

Then certain of the elders of Israel came to me and sat before me. And the word of the Lord came to me: “Son of man, these men have taken their idols into their hearts, and set the stumbling block of their iniquity before their faces. Should I indeed let myself be consulted by them? Therefore speak to them and say to them, Thus says the Lord God: Any one of the house of Israel who takes his idols into his heart and sets the stumbling block of his iniquity before his face, and yet comes to the prophet, I the Lord will answer him as he comes with the multitude of his idols, that I may lay hold of the hearts of the house of Israel, who are all estranged from me through their idols. “Therefore say to the house of Israel, Thus says the Lord God: Repent and turn away from your idols, and turn away your faces from all your abominations. For any one of the house of Israel, or of the strangers who sojourn in Israel, who separates himself from me, taking his idols into his heart and putting the stumbling block of his iniquity before his face, and yet comes to a prophet to consult me through him, I the Lord will answer him myself. And I will set my face against that man; I will make him a sign and a byword and cut him off from the midst of my people, and you shall know that I am the Lord.

 - Ezekiel 14:1-8 (ESV)

 

40 Days of Prayer and Fasting - Day 4

Here’s a rather straightforward question for you: Who serves who? That is, who exists for the pleasure of and the glory of whom? Does God exist to serve me or do I exist to serve God? When I get that basic question answered Biblically and applied across the sphere of my life, everything changes – especially the way I pray.

The problem with much of my prayer life is/has been that it’s been all about me. How can God serve my needs – my plans – my desires? I may cloak my prayers in spiritual sounding words but if I am honest (and I suspect the same is true of you) most of my praying boils down to what I expect, want, or think I need God to do on my account.

James called this type of praying “asking wrongly” or “asking amiss”:

If God is not my singular passion and if I am not faithful to Him, James compares me to an adulterer. When my true love is the stuff of this world and I use God (or think I am using God – for no one commands the Almighty) for my own ends, God is not responding! But if, in humility, I am seeking the will and direction of God, he makes his grace available to serve his purposes.

What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions. You adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. Or do you suppose it is to no purpose that the Scripture says, “He yearns jealously over the spirit that he has made to dwell in us”? But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Be wretched and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you.
- James 4:1-10 (ESV)

Today as you fast from TV (feeling challenged yet?) ask God to humble you and to show you how to pray in a way that honors him and is not self-centered. Also, check your true allegiance – God will not share ultimate affection! If you submit yourself to him, resist the enemy and all the temptations of the world, God will draw near!

40 Days of Prayer and Fasting - Day 3

Far too often, our ideas of what 'sin' is falls far short of a biblical understanding.  We tend to think of the obvious or egregious moral failings without recognizing that sin permeates our world and us.  It is everything we are that is short of all that God is.  For a great lesson on sin, I encourage you to watch/listen to/read this powerful message from John Piper: http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/MediaPlayer/2280/Audio/


Today as you fast 1 meal in order to focus your attention on God in prayer, ask Him to reveal to you anything that is displeasing to Him.  As He does, confess those as sin so that you may be free to develop into the person God wants you to be. 

Know then, that as you pray for your community, your friends, your church, your family, and yourself that because you have confessed sin and allowed God to reveal to you what He wants you to repent of, your prayers are received by the Allmighty!

Come and hear, all you who fear God, and I will tell what he has done for my soul. I cried to him with my mouth, and high praise was on my tongue. If I had cherished iniquity in my heart, the Lord would not have listened. But truly God has listened; he has attended to the voice of my prayer. Blessed be God, because he has not rejected my prayer or removed his steadfast love from me!  - Psalms 66:16-20 (ESV)

40 Days of Prayer and Fasting - Day 2

Today as you follow the suggested fast from coffee, sodas, and tea, (or whatever you choose to abstain from today for the purpose of focusing on Him in prayer) I encourage you to take a serious personal inventory and ask God to cleanse you of sin so that you may approach Him in prayer with confidence. 

Have mercy on me, O God, according to your steadfast love; according to your abundant mercy blot out my transgressions. Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin! For I know my transgressions, and my sin is ever before me. Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so that you may be justified in your words and blameless in your judgment. Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, and in sin did my mother conceive me. Behold, you delight in truth in the inward being, and you teach me wisdom in the secret heart. Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.  - Psalms 51:1-7 (ESV)

Specifically, ask God to ...

• blot out all the sins He reveals and you confess (v. 9)
• create in you a clean, restored heart (v. 10)
• renew a right spirit in you towards Him (v. 10)
• restore the joy of your salvation (v. 12)
• uphold you and give you moral strength (v. 12)
• giving you a willing, obedient spirit (v. 12)

Now, take your requests to him boldly, knowing that the prayers of the righteous have great power as they are working! (James 5:16)

I want a church like this!

Imagine how different a church we'd have if we committed to live in genuine biblical community as these Christians from a different generation did.  This church covenant is from the Baptist Church in Horse Fair, Stony Stratford, Bucks, England.  As you read it, consider how far typical churches - like ours - have strayed from our roots.  Today, too often the focus is on satisfying a fickle customer (read: "seeker") rather than honoring Him who - from generation to generation - is God. 

Would you like to be part of a church community like this?:


We whose names are underwritten do now declare that we embrace the Word of God as our only guide in matters of religion, and acknowledge no other authority whatever as binding upon the conscience. Having, we hope, found mercy at the hands of God, in delivering us from the power of darkness, and translating us into the Kingdom of His dear Son, we think and feel ourselves bound to walk in obedience to His divine commands.


On looking into the sacred Scripture, we find it was common in the first ages of Christianity for such as professed repentance towards God and faith in our Lord Jesus Christ, voluntarily to unite together in Christian societies called churches. Their ends in so doing were to honor God and promote their own spiritual edification.

Having searched the written Word, in order that we may know how to act, as well as what to believe, and sought unto God by prayer for divine direction, we heartily approve of, and mean to follow their example. With a view to this, we now solemnly, in the presence of the all-seeing and heart-searching God, do mutually covenant and agree, in manner and form following.
1. To maintain and hold fast the important and fundamental truths of revelation.

2. To seek by all proper means the good of the church with which we stand connected. To this end we engage to attend regularly, as far as we have opportunity, all seasons of public worship, church meetings, and meetings of prayer appointed by the church. When we are absent we will be ready to give an account why we were so, if required. We will diligently watch for the appearances of God’s work in our congregation; and if we see any setting their faces Zion-ward (towards Heaven) , we will endeavor to instruct and encourage; and having hopeful evidence of the reality of God’s work upon their souls, will lay before them the privileges they have a right unto, and the duties they ought to be found in, of following Christ in His ordinances and institutions.

If called to the painful work of executing the penalties of Christ upon the breakers of the laws of His house, we will endeavor to exercise it in the spirit of the gospel, without respect of persons.

Also we engage that according to our ability, we will contribute our share towards defraying all necessary expenses attending the worship of God. We likewise promise to keep the secrets of the church and not to expose its concerns to the world around.

3. To esteem our pastor highly in love for his work’s sake, this we will endeavor to manifest by frequently and fervently praying for him; diligently attending on his ministry; encouraging his heart and strengthening his hands to the utmost of our power in the work of the Lord; freely consulting him as we have occasion and opportunity, respecting our spiritual affairs; treating him affectionately when present, and speaking respectfully of him when absent.

As he is a man of like passions with others, we will endeavor to conceal and cover with a mantle of love, his weaknesses and imperfections; also to communicate unto him of our temporal good things, knowing that the Lord hath ordained that they that preach the gospel should live of the gospel.

4. To walk in love toward those with whom we stand connected in bonds of Christian fellowship. As the effect of this, we will pray much for one another.

As we have opportunity, we will associate together for religious purposes. Those of us who are in more comfortable situations in life than some of our brethren will administer as we have ability and see occasion, to their necessities.

We will bear one another’s burdens, sympathize with the afflicted in body and mind, so far as we know their case, under their trials; and as we see occasion, advise, caution, and encourage one another. We will watch over one another for good. We will studiously avoid giving or taking offenses. Thus we will make it our study to fulfil the law of Christ.

5. To be particularly attentive to our station in life, and the peculiar duties incumbent on us in that situation. We who are husbands or wives will conscientiously discharge relative duties towards our respective yoke-fellows. We who are heads of families will maintain the daily worship of God in our houses, and endeavor to instruct those under our care, both by our words and actions. We who are children will be obedient to our parents in the Lord.

We who are masters will render unto our servants that which is just and equal. We who are servants engage to be diligent and faithful, not acting with eye-service as men-pleasers, but with singleness of heart as unto God, knowing we have a Master in heaven. We will in our different places of abode, inquire what we can do for the good of the church to which we belong, and as far as we have ability, we will open or encourage the opening of a door wherever we can, for the preaching of the Word, remembering that we ought to be as the salt of the earth.

6. To walk in a way and manner becoming the gospel, before them that are without, that we may by well-doing put to silence the ignorance of gainsayers. We will practice the strictest honesty in our dealings, and faithfulness in fulfilling all our promises.

We will abstain from all vain amusements and diversions, by which time would be foolishly spent, money wasted, our minds carnalized, and we exposed to many dangerous temptations.

We engage in a special manner to sanctify the Lord’s Day. It shall be our study to keep our garments unspotted by the flesh, and walk as becometh saints.

7. To receive such, and only such, into communion with us we think are born again; have been baptized according to the primitive mode of administering that ordinance, and profess their hearty approbation of, and subjection to, this our solemn church covenant.

These things, and whatever else may appear enjoined by the Word of God, we promise in the strength of divine grace to observe and practice. But knowing our insufficiency for anything that is spiritually good, in and of ourselves, we look up to Him who giveth power to the faint, rejoicing that in the Lord we have not only righteousness but strength. Hold thou us up, O Lord, and we shall be safe! Amen.

Cuba Mission Opportunity

Hey Mission-Minded People!

We have a new missions opportunity in Cuba from October 22-29 (or 30th). I need a team of 9 people who can commit in the next few days to going with us. I apologize for the dreadfully short notice, but I just confirmed this trip a few weeks ago and have been pre-occupied with so many other things that I did not give it the immediate attention it required.

Here are the basics:

I will lead a team of 9 people (total) to do construction during the day, kid’s ministry and evangelism training in the early evening, and a nightly worship service with Pastor Adrian Ramos in Caibarien, Villa Clara on Saturday-Wednesday.

We will participate with Pastor Abel Perez in outdoor bible study groups on Thursday night in Havana (on the Malecon). I am trying to arrange an additional day of ministry with Abel’s church on Friday.

We will depart on Friday, October 22nd early in the AM from Miami (I do not have flight plans yet), and return in the afternoon on Friday the 29th or on Saturday the 30th (depending on what can be arranged with Pastor Abel)

This is what we need:

• People called to share the Gospel in a cross-cultural context
• People willing to work hard during the day
• People willing/able to work with children each night
• Someone willing to teach a men’s study
• Someone willing to teach a women’s study
• Worship leader/singers

We will need to raise $1000.00 per person. We will work together on this (and with the missions task force). Right now, all I need is a deposit of $112.50 to process your visa paperwork. Please note – this deposit is non-refundable. Once your application is sent in, we are charged this amount whether you go or not. Also, we cannot send in late applications, so if you commit to go and send in a visa app on Monday and then decide not to go, you will cost the team one member and will raise everyone’s costs.

If you are seriously interested in being part of this team, I will need a completed MISSION TRIP APPLICATION, VISA APPLICATION and your DEPOSIT by Wednesday, July 14.

Note: I can only take a team of 9 people (myself included), so we have room for 8 more. If I receive more than 8 viable applications/responses, I will contact those you wish to go and we will determine a fair way to decide who may participate. If you are seriously interested, please don’t wait until Wednesday to respond! Email me ASAP. Also, contact me if you have any questions.

If you know of anyone else who might be interested, please feel free to forward this to them. Please keep in mind the deadline we are working under, however. The Cuban government requires this time table (mostly because the office that handles religious visas is closed for all of August), so even though we are still several months away, we must get all information in on Wednesday.

I am prayerfully expecting to fill all available spots and am excited about this opportunity!

When We Hurt, God is There

I am so grateful for all the loving responses to our situation with Mark. So many have given generously, offered cars to use, homes to stay in, frequent flyer miles to travel with, and prayers – lots of prayers. For all of that we are humbled and thankful. I know full well that we are not the only people suffering, hurting, struggling, and/or in need of various kinds. Every day I meet or talk to someone who is going through real pain. We all have vastly different situations, but we have remarkably common needs. We need encouragement, support, understanding, ideas, resources, and prayer. We need a sense of hope. And as we seek these things (and so much more) from God, let us not forget that He uses people to administer His miracles, blessings, and love. Thank you all for ministering to us. I hope to return the love.

My friend Chuck Coty sent me the following and rightly pointed out that “all kinds of things can be substituted for ‘cancer’”.  In light of our situation with Mark and my dad's recent diagnosis of cancer, this spoke to me. I hope it will to you – in whatever you are going through.



Don’t Waste Your Cancer
- John Piper

I write this on the eve of prostate surgery. I believe in God’s power to heal—by miracle and by medicine. I believe it is right and good to pray for both kinds of healing. Cancer is not wasted when it is healed by God. He gets the glory and that is why cancer exists. So not to pray for healing may waste your cancer. But healing is not God’s plan for everyone. And there are many other ways to waste your cancer. I am praying for myself and for you that we will not waste this pain.

1. You will waste your cancer if you do not believe it is designed for you by God.

It will not do to say that God only uses our cancer but does not design it. What God permits, he permits for a reason. And that reason is his design. If God foresees molecular developments becoming cancer, he can stop it or not. If he does not, he has a purpose. Since he is infinitely wise, it is right to call this purpose a design. Satan is real and causes many pleasures and pains. But he is not ultimate. So when he strikes Job with boils (Job 2:7), Job attributes it ultimately to God (2:10) and the inspired writer agrees: “They . . . comforted him for all the evil that the LORD had brought upon him” (Job 42:11). If you don’t believe your cancer is designed for you by God, you will waste it.

2. You will waste your cancer if you believe it is a curse and not a gift.

“There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:1). “Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us” (Galatians 3:13). “There is no enchantment against Jacob, no divination against Israel” (Numbers 23:23). “The LORD God is a sun and shield; the LORD bestows favor and honor. No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly” (Psalm 84:11).

3. You will waste your cancer if you seek comfort from your odds rather than from God.

The design of God in your cancer is not to train you in the rationalistic, human calculation of odds. The world gets comfort from their odds. Not Christians. Some count their chariots (percentages of survival) and some count their horses (side effects of treatment), but we trust in the name of the LORD our God (Psalm 20:7). God’s design is clear from 2 Corinthians 1:9, “We felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead.” The aim of God in your cancer (among a thousand other good things) is to knock props out from under our hearts so that we rely utterly on him.

4. You will waste your cancer if you refuse to think about death.

We will all die, if Jesus postpones his return. Not to think about what it will be like to leave this life and meet God is folly. Ecclesiastes 7:2 says, “It is better to go to the house of mourning [a funeral] than to go to the house of feasting, for this is the end of all mankind, and the living will lay it to heart.” How can you lay it to heart if you won’t think about it? Psalm 90:12 says, “Teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.” Numbering your days means thinking about how few there are and that they will end. How will you get a heart of wisdom if you refuse to think about this? What a waste, if we do not think about death.

5. You will waste your cancer if you think that “beating” cancer means staying alive rather than cherishing Christ.

Satan’s and God’s designs in your cancer are not the same. Satan designs to destroy your love for Christ. God designs to deepen your love for Christ. Cancer does not win if you die. It wins if you fail to cherish Christ. God’s design is to wean you off the breast of the world and feast you on the sufficiency of Christ. It is meant to help you say and feel, “I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord.” And to know that therefore, “To live is Christ, and to die is gain” (Philippians 3:8; 1:21).

6. You will waste your cancer if you spend too much time reading about cancer and not enough time reading about God.

It is not wrong to know about cancer. Ignorance is not a virtue. But the lure to know more and more and the lack of zeal to know God more and more is symptomatic of unbelief. Cancer is meant to waken us to the reality of God. It is meant to put feeling and force behind the command, “Let us know; let us press on to know the LORD” (Hosea 6:3). It is meant to waken us to the truth of Daniel 11:32, “The people who know their God shall stand firm and take action.” It is meant to make unshakable, indestructible oak trees out of us: “His delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither. In all that he does, he prospers” (Psalm 1:2). What a waste of cancer if we read day and night about cancer and not about God.

7. You will waste your cancer if you let it drive you into solitude instead of deepen your relationships with manifest affection.

When Epaphroditus brought the gifts to Paul sent by the Philippian church he became ill and almost died. Paul tells the Philippians, “He has been longing for you all and has been distressed because you heard that he was ill” (Philippians 2:26-27). What an amazing response! It does not say they were distressed that he was ill, but that he was distressed because they heard he was ill. That is the kind of heart God is aiming to create with cancer: a deeply affectionate, caring heart for people. Don’t waste your cancer by retreating into yourself.

8. You will waste your cancer if you grieve as those who have no hope.

Paul used this phrase in relation to those whose loved ones had died: “We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope” (1 Thessalonians 4:13). There is a grief at death. Even for the believer who dies, there is temporary loss—loss of body, and loss of loved ones here, and loss of earthly ministry. But the grief is different—it is permeated with hope. “We would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord” (2 Corinthians 5:8). Don’t waste your cancer grieving as those who don’t have this hope.

9. You will waste your cancer if you treat sin as casually as before.

Are your besetting sins as attractive as they were before you had cancer? If so you are wasting your cancer. Cancer is designed to destroy the appetite for sin. Pride, greed, lust, hatred, unforgiveness, impatience, laziness, procrastination—all these are the adversaries that cancer is meant to attack. Don’t just think of battling against cancer. Also think of battling with cancer. All these things are worse enemies than cancer. Don’t waste the power of cancer to crush these foes. Let the presence of eternity make the sins of time look as futile as they really are. “What does it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses or forfeits himself?” (Luke 9:25).

10. You will waste your cancer if you fail to use it as a means of witness to the truth and glory of Christ.

Christians are never anywhere by divine accident. There are reasons for why we wind up where we do. Consider what Jesus said about painful, unplanned circumstances: “They will lay their hands on you and persecute you, delivering you up to the synagogues and prisons, and you will be brought before kings and governors for my name’s sake. This will be your opportunity to bear witness” (Luke 21:12 -13). So it is with cancer. This will be an opportunity to bear witness. Christ is infinitely worthy. Here is a golden opportunity to show that he is worth more than life. Don’t waste it.

Remember you are not left alone. You will have the help you need. “My God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:19).

________________________________________


John Piper has been the Pastor for Preaching at Bethlehem Baptist Church in Minneapolis, Minnesota, since 1980. He has authored numerous best-selling books, including The Passion of Jesus Christ, Don't Waste Your Life and Desiring God. You will find 25 years of online sermons, articles and other God-centered resources from the ministry of John Piper at www.desiringgod.org. He also has a daily radio program, called "Desiring God," which can be accessed online at www.desiringGod.org/radio.

Mark's latest chapter ...

So many times over the past several months I've thought about returning to this blog.  Ideas and inspirations have come and gone, but I just haven't seemed to be able to get them here.  And quite often, the subject that has dominated my thoughts and heart has been the deteriorating condition of my son, Mark.  With each thought of writing an update on Mark, I became discouraged with the sameness of the info I'd provide.  Nonetheless, after months away, I feel compelled to share what's happening in our lives with Mark right now.

Today Cecilia and I admitted Mark to Laurel Heights Hospital in Atlanta where he will spend (at least) the next 60 days.  Here is a little of what got us to this point: 

• Mark's self-injurious behaviors have increased over the last few months to an unprecedented degree.  We have had horrific periods of head-banging at all times of the day and night resulting in injury to Mark and one emergency hospitalization.  Thankfully, there was no serious damage to Mark - just lots of blood and an ever-worsening scar in his hairline.  Mark also began face-slapping - hitting himself with enough force and intensity to bloody his mouth and gums, bruise his face, and give himself a black eye.  Mark also continues to bite himself on the hands, forearms, and knees, adding to the scarring that was already present.  In the process of these self-injurious behaviors, Mark has damaged walls, broken shower tiles, and shattered his bathroom mirror.  We have padded his walls, put padding down on the floor, and tried to get him to wear a protective helmet, but ultimately when he is determined to head bang, or face slap, or bite himself, it is very difficult to stop.  Mark has been similarly been struggling at school, church, and anywhere we take him. 
• Mark's aggressions toward others have become more frequent and intense.  Where there were once precursors or antecedents that we knew could trigger his aggression, we began to see more and worse aggressive behaviors with no apparent cause.  Both Cecilia and I bear the mark - no pun intended - of Mark's aggression.  He scratches, claws, grabs, bites, etc.  No one in the  family has been exempt.  These behaviors have begun to be so frequent that he has become extremely difficult to be around.  Just this morning - as a sort of macabre confirmation of his need for Laurel Heights - Mark attacked us both in the hotel room, requiring us to stay in a locked bathroom for several minutes until he de-escalated.  At Laurel Heights today Mark left bloody scratch marks on the both of us.  These sort of attacks have become all-too-common.  Last week we took Mark to the Surfers for Autism event at Stuart Beach - an event he thoroughly enjoyed last year - and it was an unmitigated disaster.  Barely 3 minutes into the water, Mark began attacking his therapist Lora.  After Cecilia and I ran over to help, it took the three of us over half-an-hour to get him off the beach and back to the car.
• Mark has begun to exhibit obsessive compulsive behaviors far beyond any thing we have seen from him.  We have watched him move a desk chair for 30 minutes until he is satisfied with its placement.  He will open and close a door 30-40 times before he quits.  We have been unable to have dinner at the dining room table as a family because Mark will not allow the chairs to be out.  You cannot wash dishes when he is downstairs because he wants the water off.  Similarly, you cannot prepare a meal without difficulty as he wants ever cabinet drawer to remained shut.  That's just a sampling of how OCD is torturing him.  And if we try to intervene, the result is always intense aggression on his part. 

After months of changing medications, trying new behavioral strategies, and trying to cope at home, school, etc., we became convinced Mark needed more.   He needs a comprehensive behavioral, medical, educational, social structure to evaluate his needs and establish a plan in all those areas that will allow him (and us) to be more successful.  We hope all those things will begin to happen at Laurel Heights.  We are hoping to develop a longer term plan for Mark and us. 

Today's experience was a painful one for me and Cecilia.  It was so hard driving off leaving Mark behind, but at the same time, we feel like we have become desperate that something has to change.  Mark - and all of us - have been living a pretty tortured existence for a while.  We hope some of those changes will begin to happen here.  Please pray for Mark.  That sounds so simple, but I want to know that there are many praying for him every day.  I don't want him to ever feel alone there.  Cecilia and I hope to make it up once per week for visits over the next 60 days.  Thankfully, this will be possible due to the overwhelming generosity of our church family.  Pray for us as well (and Daniel, Alex, and Sarah) as we deal with Mark's absence, work on some healing ourselves, and prepare his room and the house better for his return. 


Hoping, praying for, and expecting better news soon,

Paul


An important side note: Mark's admission to Laurel Heights is rather miraculous in itself. After that recent ER visit with Mark, I began to research all the possible behavioral hospitals that might help Mark. We were declined at 9 Florida facilities because for one reason or another Mark did not meet their admission criteria. (His needs are acute). After a considerable amount of research, I found Laurel Heights Hospital in Atlanta. Unfortunately, our insurance declined payment for residential treatment facilities, and Mark's Florida medicaid funds will not cover out-of-state facilities. We were left with only a cash basis acceptance (negotiated down from $1300 per day to $775 per day). After many appeals, letter-writing, and input from Mark's doctors and therapists, were granted a review from the medicaid office to consider an unprecedented out of state arrangement and payments. We appealed to our State Senator, Joe Negron and to our State Representative Adam Fetterman, who were both a huge help in the process. Both took a personal interest and helped influence the process. On Friday of last week, we got the very unexpected call from the review committee that they had approved 60 days of treatment for Mark. This has not happened in Florida before. We thank God for all the help, all the prayers, and for the unseen hand of God in all of this.

Push on through.

Someone I know caught me at the grocery store and said something to the effect of, “I saw you out running the other day. You didn’t seem to be enjoying yourself very much.” I responded back with something like “That’s just my running face” or something similarly inane. But the comment did get me to thinking. Do I enjoy this? If not, why am I doing it?
Firstly, let me say that most times I do actually enjoy it. Sometimes I can feel stress melting away, I can sense my energy levels rising, I enjoy the company of friends I run with, and I'm not as fat as I used to be. Invariably, I’m always glad afterwards that I did it.

Some days though, it’s plain grueling. Take yesterday for example. After about 8 miles, my knee was throbbing. We ran 17. It was no ‘fun run’, and if you saw me, you probably saw some version of my “runner’s face.” It’s on those days and those runs that my reason for running runs deeper. To me, there is more to it than just my enjoyment. There is great value in setting a goal and struggling to reach it. I set my mind on running a marathon, and I have a ways to go to meet that goal. Lord willing, I will accomplish it. If it was easy, everyone would do it! There is value in the struggle. I have also found that running is a good metaphor for my life because I have to learn to say no to myself sometimes. Sometimes I have to defeat self-defeat. Sometimes I have to keep going when I want to stop. Sometimes I have to make choices with the big picture in mind, even if there is a cost or sacrifice to get there.

I know that I get too easily accustomed to doing just what’s easy, fun, or feels good. In the process, I become weak – not just physically weak, but psychologically, mentally, and even morally weak. If I want to get stronger, get healthier, change my course, or simply find out what’s on the other side of making a tough decision, setting a big goal, keeping a personal commitment, or simply doing what's right when it's hard to do so, I have to learn how to push on through.

Here’s to pushing on through!

… let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.

- Galatians 6:9 (ESV)

Why I (mostly) use the English Standard Version of the Bible

Many of you have noticed and/or commented on my (near) exclusive use of the ESV Bible over the last several months. Here is the short version of what led me to that decision:

1) I began to develop a concern that most versions contain more commentary and interpretation than most readers (and I) realized. The more I studied the original languages, the more frustation I had at some of the popular versions today. I wanted a translation that was as accurate as possible in interpreting the original texts, and was at the same time, readable. I once predominantly used the NIV on Sunday AM (due largely to its popularity and common usage) and the NASB on Wednesday nights (due to its literal accuracy). I think the ESV provides the readability of the NIV without the over-simplicity and interpretive bent, while improving the flow and readability without sacrificing the literal accuracy of the NASB.

2) I began to be convicted about the popular trend (inspired by Rick Warren, Purpose-Driven style preaching and preachers) of using a disconnected mix of translations and paraphrases in every message instead of utilizing one worthy text. The purpose of picking and choosing a mix of versions seems to be to get the Bible to say what you want it to say by finding certain phrases, words, ideas that may not be well-founded in the original texts, rather than doing the hard work of determining what the Bible actually said (to it's original audience), says (in its proper context), and says today to us (the timeless principles).

3) I have great respect for the team that developed this version and for the Christian leaders, professors, and pastors who endorse it. It was the endorsement of men that I admire that first led me to consider the ESV as my primary text.

While I still utilize a variety of references in personal study, message preparation, devotional reading, and in writing, I rely on the ESV as my primary preaching/teaching text.

This video will give you more insight as to why:

What the world needs now ...

... is what the world has always needed. This world needs to hear a word from God. Specifically, the world needs to hear God's Word. And how will that happen?

This Sunday, a pastor at a church down the street will preaching on the popular, but theologically heretical bestseller, The Shack. Another one will be preaching some sort of "response" to Dan Brown's latest attack on Christianity, Angels and Demons. Hundreds - if not thousands - more preachers will be borrowing messages from pop-psychologists, self-help seminar leaders, and positive-thinking, motivational speakers addressing things like overcoming stress, enjoying your job, or the latest troubling fad - trying to lure people by talking explicitly about sex. Others still will be offering up corny takeoffs of TV series like Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, Lost, and The Biggest Loser, all trying to make some sort of tenuous Christian connection.

And I used to do the same. I look over my message titles from 5-6 years ago and more and cringe as I see the same sort of junk. I had message series like: CASTAWAY – How to Get off Your Desert Island and SURVIVOR- How to Make It in a Tough World. Seriously. I actually preached that stuff. But over time, my approach has changed. I'd like to say I had an epiphany and God himself said "Stop borrowing Rick Warren's messages and getting your inspiration from the TV set", but it didn't exactly happen that way. It was more gradual. I slowly begin to realize that man's wisdom - no matter what man - is not life-changing. It may be impressive, memorable, and even adored, but its effects are minimal. What people need - what I need - is a word from God. I begin to feel a deep and lasting conviction that I should do exactly as Paul told his apprentice Timothy to do: Preach the Word. Period.

When you preach the Word, you don't need a knee-jerk response to every Dan Brown, Richard Dawkins, or Oprah Winfrey. When you preach the Word, you don't need to be cute, clever, or contemporary. The Word is powerful, effective, and timeless. When you preach the Word, you don't need a hook, a gimmick, or bait-n-switch. It's truth. Total truth. Now it's true that not everyone will want that sort of preaching. Many prefer to be entertained, coddled, or indulged. But Paul covered all that when he told Timothy:

2 Timothy 4:1-5 (ESV)
I charge you in the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who is to judge the living and the dead, and by his appearing and his kingdom: preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and exhort, with complete patience and teaching. For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions, and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths. As for you, always be sober-minded, endure suffering, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry.

So - if any young preachers are out there reading this - here's my advice. Preach the Word. Study it thoroughly, think on it deeply, live it honestly, and communicate it passionately. God will take care of the rest.

Just my thought for the day!

A word of encouragement from a friend

I received this article from a good friend this week.  My friend had this cut out and taped to her mirror for years and retyped it and passed it along to me.  It has encouraged at least two people now!  I hope it encourages you, too.

Where is the Good Life When We Suffer? 

by Chuck Colson

"What happens to the good life when your world falls apart?" 

This was the question my friend Richard Neuhaus asked when he critiqued "The Good Life" manuscript. "It all sounds just a little too rosy," he wrote. "Remember, even Mother Teresa had days of depression."

I made a few changes in the manuscript. Still the question haunted me, as if my friend was being prophetic. As it turned out, he was.

In February my oldest son, Wendell, was diagnosed with a rare form of bone cancer. As with any parent, the worst thing I could imagine was a child in peril. Shaken, I asked God repeatedly to let it be me, not Wendell.

Surgeons took 10 hours to remove the spinal tumor, making it the longest day of my life. The waiting room grew increasingly oppressive as our family huddled together while other anguished families came and went. Wendell came through it well, but continues in chemo.

I was just adjusting to the shock of Wendell when my precious daughter Emily was diagnosed with melanoma. Soon we were back at the hospital waiting room: more anxiety, prayers and sleepless nights. Then in April, my wife, Patty, underwent major knee surgery. Yet more anxious hours in another waiting room.

As I've frequently written, no one gets through life unscathed. You have probably discovered, as I have, that when trouble comes, it seems to pile on. Exhausted from 2 years of writing "The Good Life," I found myself at times wrestling with the great deceiver. He attacks when we're weakest or when God is going to do something very important--like a book being released. There was an unpleasant situation with a disgruntled former employee, an unauthorized and in part embarrassing biography published, a vicious attack on me in the press. Though my prayer partners sustained me, I understood what Mother Teresa wrote about. God at times seemed distant.

I write now, however, with perspective. The self-pitying fog began to clear in June: I was reminded how God so often uses the suffering of believers for His redemptive purpose. As a visible public figure, how I would bear up under this would be an important witness--as it is with each of us dealing with affliction. When I came to terms with this, my confidence was renewed, and I even experienced glorious moments of God's sustaining grace.

In September, the clearest understanding came, not in a blinding revelation but in quiet reflection. I was standing alone on the deck of a friend's mountaintop home in North Carolina, looking over the spectacular Smoky Mountains rising out of the mist. I was moved, as I so often am, by the majesty of His creation. It is impossible not to know that God is THE Creator. As I have written in "The Good Life", there is no other rational explanation for reality. God cannnot not be. I remembered Michael Novak's comment, "If occasionally I raise my heart in prayer, it is to no God I can see or hear or feel." The great theologian, of course, didn't mean that he doubted the existence of God, but rather that God is God whether or not we experience His presence.

Many evangelicals believe you can know truth only when you experience it. Not so. Our feelings are irrelevant; God is not the creature of our emotions--God is the great I AM, who created me and in whose care rests my family and my family's destiny.

I've spent years writing apologetic books, but it struck me that day in North Carolina that I needn't make sense of the burdens I was given to bear or the despair I'd experienced. Who was I even to question? I must simply cling to the certain knowledge that God is--and that He has revealed Himself in His infallible Word.

Attempting to explain our existence, the philosopher Descartes famously said 'cogito ergo sum'--I think, therefore I am. But the Christian, Neuhaus writes, says ''cogitur ergo sum'--I was thought, therefore I am. On this certainty I entrust my life and my family.  

Thanks for the encouragement, Paul

Can I give you a dirty little secret about preachers? (well - this preacher, at least). We don't always take our own medicine. There. I said it. I'm not proud of that little fact, but I know it's true. There have been more than a few times I have offered others advice or biblical guidance that I myself have not followed. Oh, i know what i should do, but at times - probably like every other Christian - I don't do it. Case in point: Dealing with discouragement and disappointments ...

Just this Sunday, I was filling in our congregation a little on the condition of my son, Mark. (He comes home TODAY, by the way!) I mentioned something off the cuff about how Philippians reminds us of how the joy of the Lord can be our strength, etc. etc. Sometimes those familiar phrases, almost cliche' like, roll off the tongue too easily. But this time, God stopped me. He sent me back to Philippians this week with this conviction: "Are you finding strength in my joy?" And I have not been. I have been worn down and discouraged. I have weary and less productive. Not to sound overly dramatic, but the accumulation of all this "stuff" lately (Mark's situation and a lot more) has just beaten me down. I didn't realize the cumulative effect until the last few days. So ... as I went back to Philippians, this is what I found to help deal with discouragement and hardship. I hope this helps you as it has me.
I remember someone once sharing this advice to me after I had been disappointed: "Don't ever expect anything, and you won't ever be disappointed." While that may be true, it sure is a negative and cynical way to live life, isn't it? I've also heard the "word-faith" "name it and claim it" TV preacher (often and sadly emulated in our area) tell us that we "get exactly what we expect" as if our words, thoughts, claims, statements, etc. direct the future. Well, I don't know about you, but I have gotten quite a lot I didn't expect in this life. I've personally decided on a different sort of motto. Being a huge believer in the sovereignty of God, I believe that I'll "get whatever God wants me to get". With that in mind, I know I will face things that hurt, confuse, disappoint, and discourage me. But i will also know that God does in fact know what He is doing and that He does do what He does out of love for us, so here's ...
SOME BIBLICAL GUIDANCE FOR FACING DISAPPOINTMENTS, DISCOURAGEMENT, and HARDSHIPS (from Philippians 1):
When life is tough (say, like being in prison, ala the apostle Paul) ...
1) Find a positive and sustaining memory! (vs. 3-5)

Paul certainly had an incredible and memorable life. Of course, not all of the memories were good … Notice that he recalls positive events and people who have blessed him. This helped him carry on! Our momentary problems can really skew our perspective on our lives. We tend to self-pity, resentment, anger, and the like,. We ask questions about "fairness" and "why me?" But i know for me, my life has been pretty good. I have experienced many wonderful events, known lots of great people, and have been very blessed. It's hard now, but this chapter of my life is not the only one that has been written or that will be written.
Philippians 1:3-5 (ESV) I thank my God in all my remembrance of you, always in every prayer of mine for you all making my prayer with joy, because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now.
My positive memories remind me (in the words of my favorite professor, Dr. Melvin) that this too shall pass! My life has not always been like this and it will not always be like this. I can recall better times, and doing so returns a sense of balance and perspective to my life.
2) Trust God for ultimate outcomes! (vs. 6)

He always knows what He is doing, even when you’re in prison! (like Paul). And He is forever in control! And while we cannot always see His hand at work, we should trust that He is working towards an ultimate end. I struggle to understand the "why" of autism, sickness, my son's broken wrist right on the verge of his basketball tournament (and birthday), and so many other day-to-day events and happenings. God often does not answer my prayers as I request Him too. (Do you ever do that? Give God your plan and then get disappointed when he doesn't, genie-like, carry it out?) Instead of getting lost in the immediate, look to the ultimate. Trust God as completely as Paul did:
Philippians 1:6 (ESV) And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.

God will definitively finish what He started in me - and in you.


3) Invest in life long edifying friendships! (vs. 7-8)
Circumstances can (and will) disappoint. Thank God for close friends who encourage us and sustain us when we are struggling! Over the last few months, the support, help, and encouragement of friends has really carried us. From the cards, letters, and emails to the unexpected gifts, we have really been blessed by friendship. And beyond the good people of FBJB who have constantly encouraged us with their words, prayers, and generosity, we have been carried by long-time friends that we love and who love us. I am not too proud to admit my need for those sorts of friends. I believe God created us all that way - with a need to live interdependently with eat other. I can understand what Paul meant when he spoke of those he held in his heart. The close friends I hold in my heart have been - more than they will know - a gift of God to me.
Philippians 1:7 (ESV) It is right for me to feel this way about you all, because I hold you in my heart, for you are all partakers with me of grace, both in my imprisonment and in the defense and confirmation of the gospel.
4) Try to see the bigger picture! (vs. 12-18)

What was it that primarily kept Paul going? It's the same "thing" that will keep any person going thru adversity and hardship. It is a sense of purpose and calling. That driving sense of who I am and what I am here for is a powerful motivator to keep on going. What great purpose do you have that will keep you going in the midst of crisis? Without purpose, we are so much more likely to quit - to give up. Have you ever quit something saying, "What's the point?" Paul knew the point of his life. He also realized that in spite of what he was going through, the purpose of God for his life was still playing out! Yes - things are exceedingly tough at the moment, but look at the big picture! God is still accomplishing His plan through my life.Philippians 1:12-18 (ESV) I want you to know, brothers, that what has happened to me has really served to advance the gospel, so that it has become known throughout the whole imperial guard and to all the rest that my imprisonment is for Christ. and most of the brothers, having become confident in the Lord by my imprisonment, are much more bold to speak the word without fear. Some indeed preach Christ from envy and rivalry, but others from good will. The latter do it out of love, knowing that I am put here for the defense of the gospel. The former proclaim Christ out of rivalry, not sincerely but thinking to afflict me in my imprisonment. What then? Only that in every way, whether in pretense or in truth, Christ is proclaimed, and in that I rejoice.



5) Always keep an eternal perspective! (vs. 19-26)

God has placed in the life of every believer a spiritual deposit (the Holy Spirit) of what is in store for us (Heaven). It is right that we should long for it. It is beneficial for us to frame our view of everything in light of it! I think of this in most extreme terms: win or lose - as a Christian, I still win! You get it? What is the worst that could happen to me? Death? Well then, I win! And if I live? Then I continue doing what God made me to do for His glory and my eternal reward. One way or the other, I WILL BE delivered! If it's cancer, one way or the other - here or there - I will be delivered! Autism? Just the same! Hardship? Difficulty? It won't last! Paul said:
2 Corinthians 4:16-18 (ESV) So we do not lose heart. Though our outer nature is wasting away, our inner nature is being renewed day by day. For this slight momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.
and ...
Philippians 1:19-26 (ESV) ... for I know that through your prayers and the help of the Spirit of Jesus Christ this will turn out for my deliverance, as it is my eager expectation and hope that I will not be at all ashamed, but that with full courage now as always Christ will be honored in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain. If I am to live in the flesh, that means fruitful labor for me. Yet which I shall choose I cannot tell. I am hard pressed between the two. My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better. But to remain in the flesh is more necessary on your account. Convinced of this, I know that I will remain and continue with you all, for your progress and joy in the faith, so that in me you may have ample cause to glory in Christ Jesus, because of my coming to you again.
So hang in there. Be encouraged. Paul suffered beyond what any of us will likely endure. And his suffering as a Christian was not because of bad choices, stupid mistakes, or sin. He suffered for doing the right thing. And he held up. In fact, stood firm, kept fighting, and was unfazed by the attacks of the enemy.
Thanks for the encouragement, Paul.

Insight into our world, part 47

Over the last few weeks I have been frequently asked the same sort of questions. The specifics may differ slightly, but the basic premise of the inquiries is the same. Since Mark has been at Sea Harbor, people want to know, "Is Mark happy there?" Was Mark glad to see you when you visited?" "Was Mark sad when you left?" "How does Mark like it there?", etc. All those question get to the heart of our struggle with autism. We just don't know what Mark thinks, how Mark feels, what Mark likes, or if Mark is happy or sad - at least not with any regularity. Mark doesn't communicate these things. And just when you think he is "happy", a major incident of self-injurious behavior could occur. And when you think he is "sad", there is almost no way of knowing why or over what he is sad. That's one part of the emotionally painful world of autism. I wish i could tell each of you who have asked how Mark was feeling, what Mark was thinking, and if he was happy there, but I can't. Yesterday I posited to Cecilia after our visit with Mark that I wish he would tell us, "Mommy, Daddy - don't leave! I won't to go home" (Like a "normal" 11-year-old might). While that would certainly be painful to hear, I know the tears would be tears of joy that we are finally hearing him ... really hearing his thoughts, his feelings .... instead of always wondering, guessing, and trying to figure them out. We pray constantly that he is at peace there, unafraid, and that he knows that he is loved. I sure hope he knows that he is loved.

We had a good visit yesterday - our best yet, I think. Mark seemed glad to see us. He was smiling, laughing, and more affectionate than he had been in our previous visits, We had no incidents of aggression or self-injury. In fact, they said he has a "good" run of three days or so with a drastic decline in behaviors. We played in the big yard, tossed a ball back and forth for a while (till we got the expected "no thank you" from Mark and he just let the ball drop), and then went in and sat in a visiting lounge of sorts for a while and gave him squeezes like he likes, talked to him, got him to sing some songs, prayed with him, and left. You can't see emotions in typed words I guess, but that last sentence made the tears well up again. We so hate leaving him. That long drive back from Orlando is a tough one.

While we are still encountering difficulties with insurance (i.e. they won't pay), the good news is Sea Harbor granted Mark an extra week. Discharge is now set for Thursday, April 23rd. Thankfully, his doctor there ordered the additional days so that Mark could be properly evaluated since his meds changed this week. We are really thankful for that. (Especially in light of the really rough weekend he just had). Our next moves when Mark comes home include the following:

• Talking with the neighbor about his barking dog - a HUGE trigger for Mark's behaviors
• Beginning Mark in a different school setting - Challenger School
• Working with an audiologist to begin dealing with the auditory triggers for Mark (far and away his biggest struggle is with dealing with sounds/noises at certain frequencies ... the vast majority of his behaviors are reactions to noises it seems)
• Implementing the behavioral plan at home that was initiated at Sea Harbor
• Continue his new pharmacological plan with a new psychiatrist

We hope we will see good results from these steps.

Thanks for all the inquiries and for caring about Mark as you do. Thanks also for the prayers. I sat and thought last night how truly humbling it is to know that people - many of whom I don't even know personally - are praying for us. That you would stop what you are doing, think of me and my family, and pray is an incredible thing. Thank you.

Looking forward to the return of my little boy,

Paul

Mark update - April 10

Mark is coming home next Thursday. While we're not yet sure that's the best thing for him, it is what's happening.  Here's where we stand right now and the brief version of how we got to this point:

As most of you know by now, Mark was admitted to the Sea Harbor program at Central Florida Behavioral Hospital on Saturday, March 28.  This has been a tough time for us all.  As difficult as Mark's behaviors had been - the head banging and biting himself with greater frequency and intensity as well as the aggression towards others - the separation has been almost as difficult to bear.  Thankfully we are able to call daily to talk to Mark (although he hates having the phone put up to his ear) and get frequent reports from the staff there.    Thursday we went for our meeting with his "team" there (therapists, etc.) and were told he would be discharged on the following Thursday.  The reason for the earlier-than-expected discharge?  Insurance.  Contrary to what we were told upon admission, our insurance will not cover Mark there.  They said they agreed to admit him because of the crisis situation and had hoped that insurance would pay some of the expenses.  Unfortunately, that is not the case. And the per diem rate there is beyond our capacity to pay (roughly $550).  Realistically though, we knew Mark would not be there beyond the 30 day initial period we anticipated our insurance covering anyway.  We simply saw no long term solutions coming in such a short time and we knew it was not a feasible option to pay $16500 for an additional 30 days.  We also were concerned that the program possibly over-relies on medications to handle/temper behaviors.  Reinforcing this idea for us was the sudden increase in medications upon arrival (doubling one med twice in the first day and a half), and what happened today: Mark has his biggest meltdown yet - the sort we had been seeing with all-too-common frequency, but had not been on display yet at Sea Harbor,  He was apparently attempting to bite anyone in sight and was also biting himself and head-banging.  Their response?  A shot of Ativan.  Ativan might get them over that brief crisis, but we don't have access to Ativan shots here - nor could we or would we use them the 5, 10, 15 times per week they are sometimes needed.  While possibly necessary, giving Mark a tranquilizer doesn't really solve any of Mark's problems.  It's a band-aid of sorts.  And that is really all we have done these past two weeks - apply a band-aid to a problem that still is critical.  On a positive note, Mark has done well in the school setting there and has greatly benefited from the intense one-on-one attention and therapy he has received.  We will miss both.   We have some tough decisions to make in terms of Mark's school.  We simply cannot return to the situation he had been failing in for so long.  We also got some new ideas and suggestions we will be exploring in the days to come.  We will be seeing an audiologist (to see if there are any measures we can take to limit Mark's exposure to certain noises and frequencies that invariably lead to behaviors), and we will be seeing a psychiatrist to address Mark's medical plan (since he has been under the care of the psychiatrist at Sea Harbor but will no longer be once discharged).  Ironically, after months and months of petitioning the folks that control the flow of funds that Mark receives for services to move us up a "tier" so that we would qualify for an intensive residential treatment program, we were finally approved - one week AFTER we enrolled Mark at Sea Harbor.  We were offered a placement at Carlton Palms in Mt. Dora.  This program/facility does accept Mark's APD funds and would be fully covered for us.  Cecilia and I visited and toured on Thursday AM before our noon appointment at Sea Harbor.  I'll have to give you the short version here ... we just don't feel that's the place for Mark for many reasons.  They require a one-year commitment up front, allow no visitors or calls for the first 30 days, use physical restraints liberally, and we simply were left feeling/thinking  that the program was just not right for Mark or us.  More than anything, we want Mark at home and well.   So far, we can only achieve the former.  The bottom line at the moment seems to be this: Mark's stay at Sea Harbor has given his body a well-needed break.  He looks better and his bite marks are subsiding and his head-banging has diminished.  We have some new ideas to try and perhaps a couple new insights.  But we have no solutions.  Very little, if anything has substantively changed.  We look forward to Mark's return, but know that we still face all the same issues as before.  

There is so much more to tell, but we are both so emotionally and mentally exhausted from it all, that it's hard to write or put into words.  Many of you have asked for an update and have assured us of your continuing prayers.  We really appreciate that.  I hope this gives you enough to know what's happening (at least in the big picture) and guides you in your prayers for us and Mark.  There is nothing besides caring and praying that anyone can be doing right now.  Thanks for asking, though.  I'll try to keep you updated more often here.  

Thanks again for the notes, emails, calls, and cards.  I apologize if we have not responded or replied to them all, but each has meant a lot to us.  

Mark's not home.

I woke up this morning and went downstairs for breakfast. I immediately noticed the box of Honeycomb cereal left out on the counter. It made me a little irritated. We just don't leave cereal out around our house because of Mark. My first thought was: "Mark is going to get into this cereal and go nuts". (He's on a gluten and casein free diet). Then it hit me. hard. Mark's not home. It's these small daily reminders that Mark is not with us, but is instead here that really get to me. The first night, it was his open door to his bedroom late at night. Then it hit me. Mark's not home. Yesterday, it was the neighbor's dog barking - which always leads to an episode of head-banging for Mark. In the odd ensuing silence, I realized, Mark is not home.

After consulting with a couple of his doctors, we made the hard choice this past weekend to admit Mark to the Sea Harbor program at the Central Florida Behavioral Hospital. After yet another weekend of crisis-inducing behaviors (violent head-banging, biting himself, and being very aggressive towards us) we knew we had to move beyond all that we have tried up to this point. Spending the day there on Saturday touring and interviewing and being interviewed about Mark was emotionally exhausting. Leaving him there at the end of the day was one of the hardest things Cecilia and I have ever done. And while we hold out hope that this 30 (possibly even 60) days of treatment, therapy, and observation will lead to breakthrough for Mark, we can't be sure. Since his admission on Saturday, we visited him on Sunday afternoon, again on Tuesday evening, and we will be going there again this afternoon. After that, we can only visit one time per week. That's going to be tough. We hope to see some hopeful signs today.

Thanks to all who have prayed, written encouraging notes and emails, sent cards, called us, and offered to help in many ways. I feel badly that I have responded to precious few of those emails, voice mails, and notes so far, but I still intend to. Please know that we appreciate the acts and words of kindness and the support of friends. Because many of you have asked, i will post periodic updates here. If you want to know more, feel free to call or email (although I may be a bit slow in responding). And keep praying, please. for Mark. for us. for the whole family.


Hanging in there ...



Ohhhh ... one last thing. Today is World Autism Awareness Day. We're quite "aware" of autism and its impact on people. Today might be a good day for you to pick up some new info on this modern epidemic. Just google.

Social Networking and Your Teenagers

Are your kids among the tens of millions of American teenagers using social networking sites like Facebook and MySpace?  If so, you might want to consider the wisdom of Vicki Courtney and her book and website Logged On and Tuned Out.  Here's an excerpt from chapter one:

Let’s face it—we all desire to be attentive and caring parents, but it becomes difficult when we can’t possibly keep up with friend/buddy lists that number in the hundreds, unlimited text messages, instant messages, and the World Wide Web with more than 990 million users. Where are our children going online? To whom are they talking? Who is talking to them? Are they talking to strangers? Are they surfing porn sites? Do they have a MySpace or Facebook page? Are they texting while they are driving? Are they texting during school hours? Do they have trashy hip-hop songs loaded on their iPods? Are they addicted to online gaming sites?

I wish we could take their annoying gadgets away! Let’s go back to the pre-wired days where there were only three TV channels, cassette tapes that held about twelve songs, and a home phone tethered to the wall in the middle of the living room. At least then Mom and Dad had a good idea of who their kids’ friends were and what they were up to because they were the mighty gatekeepers when the home phone rang. Nowadays, kids don’t even know one another’s home phone numbers because they have cell phones and can contact one another at all hours of the day or night. And what, may I ask you, is wrong with Pong, Atari, and PacMan? Our kids don’t know what they’re missing!

Let’s face it—we are riding shotgun when it comes to technology. For years I have counted on my kids to change the ring tone on my cell phone or reboot the computer when the screen froze up. Is it really necessary to step in and get involved in their media-saturated worlds? You bet it is. The average teen spends more than seventy-two hours a week using electronic media (Internet, cell phones, television, music, and video games).

Among the other good stuff you'll find there is this common sense online contract:  

Consider using the tips below as an online contract and have your teen initial each tip as a  

personal pledge to honor the boundaries.  Let your teen know that you will be bookmarking  

his or her page and checking the content from time to time.  Emphasize that it is not an issue  

of not trusting them but rather an issue of concern for their safety.  (Note: This assumes your  

child has met minimum age requirements.)  

- Vicki  

1.  Use the privacy controls and set your page to private (MySpace only).  Your friends will still  

be able to locate you and send a request to be added to your friend list.  

2.  Never share your last name, city, phone numbers, screen name, e mail address, or other  

information that would make it easy for strangers to identify you or contact you  

one on one (like in person!)  

3.  Read over your profile to see if you have disclosed information that would enable a stalker  

or predator to track you down.  

4.  Make sure your pictures are appropriate.  Never upload pictures in swimsuits, pajamas, or  

undergarments.  Do not pose suggestively or seductively.  

5.  Limit your friend list to real friends.  Who needs five hundred or more online strangers as  

friends anyway?  

6.  When it comes to the comments others post on your wall/page/pictures, remember that  

you will be judged by the company you keep.  In other words, “you are who you hang out  

with.”  

7.  One in five kids between the ages of ten and seventeen have been solicited for sex online.  

If anyone makes you feel uncomfortable online, tell your parents!  If you receive a sexual  

solicitation, copy and paste it in an e mail and send it to CyberTipline.com.  

8.  Keep in mind that many schools, teachers, colleges, employers, and other organizations  

are searching MySpace and FaceBook for information about potential students or  

employees.  

9.  Remember that information you delete never really goes away.  The pages are archived,  

and many are accessible free of charge to the public.  

10.When it comes to the social networking sites like Facebook and MySpace, 1 Chronicles  

29:11 sums it up nicely: “Yours, LORD, is the greatness and the power and the glory and  

the splendor and the majesty, for everything in the heavens and on earth belongs to You.  

Yours, LORD, is the kingdom, and You are exalted as head over all.”  We would all be wise  

to remember that all space is really “his space.”  

Signed: ________________________________     Date: _______________________